I recently gave a reading to client where this statement came up. And it occurred to me that this situation is more common than people realize. So what do I mean by "Are you unhappy because you're not happy?" It's surprisingly simple and basic.
In the course of my giving readings I have noticed that many people in the general population are unhappy with their lives because they feel they have done everything to achieve what society considers signposts of achievement; prosperity, a home, family, professional prestige or rank, etc. However they still feel unhappy, angry even, because they feel like something is missing. They feel empty or hollow inside, hence the unhappiness, because they feel like they did everything "right" according to societal norms. So why aren't they happy?
Because looking externally for happiness is an exercise in futility. Sure, a person can achieve momentary happiness from an object or even another person, however when you continue to look for something outside of yourself to better define what you think will give you joy then you become that empty vessel that can never and will never be filled. You place the responsibility of your well-being elsewhere which removes personal responsibility from yourself. And until we acknowledge we are solely accountable for our definition of what brings us joy, bliss and contentment, we will continue down this path of unhappiness and blame.
The thing is we live in a world of duality, and that's where things get a little tricky; selfish/selfless, personal strength/personal weakness, love/fear, power/subservience, etc. What I have found the most fascinating is the people with the most innate empathy are the ones who are the most concerned about being selfish (and they usually are not!). These are also the people who are more in tuned with their own emotions and who take personal responsibility (and blame) for their actions or reactions. They are the ones who are the quickest to recognize when they are unhappy and they look within for the solution.
Now to be fair, I'm not judging or criticizing anyone who is experiencing this unhappiness for which this article is being written. What I'm saying is the ones who are unhappy because they are not happy are the ones who have reached that fork in the road where the decision has to be made whether they continue living their lives looking externally for happiness or they make that executive decision to change their outlook on themselves, choose to start being true to their divine selves, and start examining what they truly want from life and what they are going to do to make it happen!
The spiritual path is not an easy one, and there is no set particular way to do it. We are all like babies who are learning how to walk. Some of us crawl for a long time before we get the courage to stand up. Some of us just pull ourselves up on the chair or couch, let go and just go for it. Most of us fall down immediately. The trick is to get back up and do it again. Life would be great if we could learn from the good things. My experience has been the opposite, and I'm sure yours has too. Life is not about the endgame, but more about the journey.
Coming up, I will write more about suggestions, or just personal thoughts from readings which will hopefully help others to find their own solutions or even epiphanies.
I will leave you with this thought. Humans are pack animals. We instinctively want to be accepted, loved, nurtured and valued by others. The first step to that is by knowing, accepting, loving, nurturing and valuing ourselves.