"Scars remind of us where we have been. They don't have to dictate where we are going." This quote is from an episode of Criminal Minds. I love how this series intersperses pithy sayings throughout the show each week. I'm always entertained by the appropriateness of each aphorism.
However this particular line struck a nerve with me, partly because of the insights I get when giving readings for my clients, but mostly because of my own personal life.
Doing what I do, I get some unique perspectives on people's emotions and thus their triggers which lead to negative reactions instead of positive responses. I admit to getting frustrated sometimes because a client can completely misconstrue something I have told them when I believe my delivery was extremely straight forward. What this shows me is that my "A + B" doesn't equal their "C" because their subconscious or "scars" remind them of their past, and IS dictating where they are going, for better or for worse.
Me: Your love interest is extremely stressed out right now, because of work and family issues. Please do not take this as he is angry or upset with you but more that he is trying to process and deal with things he cannot control.
Client: So what you are saying is he is reconciling with his ex-girlfriend?
I know some of you might think I'm making this up but I have experienced this on numerous occasions with different clients. What I understand now is when someone calls me their fears or "scars" are in the driver's seat of their perceptions, and what I consider to be concise information which is easily digestible is actually like me speaking Latin to them. We can and will go round and round until I can get this client past their "scar" and eventually they will move beyond their worst case scenario. Sometimes it takes time to unfold and show that their worries have no substance or they recognize their "scars" are their enemies.
So here is the deal. We ALL have scars. We ALL have issues. And we ALL have choices. It takes a lot of courage to face your inner demons and to look at the situations which have given us some our most deep seated and ugly scars. The joy comes from facing these fears, and choosing not to let them keep defining where we are going.
The greatest gift you can give yourself and your loved ones is freedom from personal emotional fears. Maybe when you open yourself up to true self-awareness and healing these wounds you might just be the impetus for someone else's recovery from their own.
Infinite blessings to you all!